Gone awol and myself will not be attending either.
We got our family out 5 years ago so why would we put ourselves back in.
We are far to busy getting on with our lives and spending time with our lovely children!
free and happy
JoinedPosts by free and happy
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46
Re: Will you attend the Memorial this year? Why? Why not?
by check inyou all had some interesting thoughts on that jw memorial thread.
some of you mentioned that you are going so that you can set some sort of example.
i gather that some of you believe that by going and eating, you are somehow showing them they can (or should) do it too.. that really confuses me.
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Parents - How can I tell them what I have learnt and hope they leave too.
by free and happy inmy husband and i and our children having been left the jws for 5 years now, for me it was how we were treated, the lies elders told about us and the blood issue that really opened my eyes and while all this was happening, my parents watched, supported and even sympathised with us,they said they understood our decision and even though it sadden them we were leaving, they understood.
they have never shunned us and we have a really good relationship with them.. what i don't understand is how they can still stay and play happy families with the people who caused us so much pain and anxiety, without the transfusion my eldest had, she would be dead, it truely was a life saver, why did they not question the religion that was quite happy to let her die for it.. i think the problem for me is that when i was at home, we never really talked, any problems were just glossed over , in fact i don't think i have ever had an indepth jw talk with my parents about how i felt about being a witness which makes it so hard to tell them what i've learnt now, i haven't a clue where to start.. for my husband it seemed quite easy for him to have discussions with his mum and step dad as he never had the same closeness that i had with my parents when growing up even though we were raised in witness families, but then it dawned on me that we never really spoke indepth about anything much so how do i start now?.
so i'm asking for any advice anyone can give, if you have any suggestions i would love to hear from you..
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free and happy
Hello again, just thought I'd update you how I got on with tackling my mum and it was quite surprising.
While wandering round the supermarket having a general chit chat I brought it round to my daughter being at uni nursing and then I said talking about medical stuff, I dropped into conversation I had read how the use of blood fractions was acceptable to witnesses to have,I then went on to say that is all well and good but witnesses have died for their beliefs on blood and they keep changing their minds on what is right or not and if we had upheld them, our eldest would be dead now. She asked if it was a recent thing as she didn't know anything about fractions and then said that she hadn't been to the hall since before Xmas.
Knowing my Dad had been quite poorly, I asked if it was because of that and she said she had been having a lot of doubts, the congregation lacked love and she wasn't sure if it was for her anymore and really goes just because my Dad does .No one had called from there cong to see where they were despite it being over 8 weeks of them not being there and when my Dad went back, they didn't even ask if all was well, just treated him as if he hadn't been away, not missing them in the first place.
After packing my shopping I asked her why she was a witness and she answered by saying she didn't know, we then went on to discuss the blood and why I left, they knew nothing about how badly we were treated, we weren't even talked about anymore as if we had never been there, neither did they know I had been councilled for having the fraction anti D in my 3 rd pregnancy which if I hadn't would have led to complications with me and my baby.
She was a bit gob smacked and also a bit upset thinking she and my Dad had done badly by us but I reassured her that wasn't the case and we had a lovely chat about talking more and not to feel we should keep everything inside. I felt closer to my mum than I have felt in a long while.
I mentioned other things I had learnt about the governing body being the faithful and discreet slave( she was dumbfounded) and I could see a light go on in her head. All this I said was on their website which she admitted she had never looked at.
She then went on to tell me that my Dad and my Uncle( who is an elder) had been having a few chats lately and he wasn't happy with some of the new lights he had been hearing at the meeting, one of them being the faithful and discreet slave stuff.
I mentioned JW Facts to her and again asked her why she was a witness and told her to really think about it, even if she goes back just because my dad does , I know she'll start questioning things.
To top it all this week, my nephew tonight has just rang me to say he told my mum he was having doubts about his faith and that he had spent years sitting on the fence not knowing if he believed or not but was still going because he had pull of g/friend/mates/grandparents etc and she told him to talk to me and I would point him in the right direction to look for answers. No "grandad and I will help with any questions you may have", just speak to me.
So I have had a very interesting conversation with him tonight too, watch this space.......
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Parents - How can I tell them what I have learnt and hope they leave too.
by free and happy inmy husband and i and our children having been left the jws for 5 years now, for me it was how we were treated, the lies elders told about us and the blood issue that really opened my eyes and while all this was happening, my parents watched, supported and even sympathised with us,they said they understood our decision and even though it sadden them we were leaving, they understood.
they have never shunned us and we have a really good relationship with them.. what i don't understand is how they can still stay and play happy families with the people who caused us so much pain and anxiety, without the transfusion my eldest had, she would be dead, it truely was a life saver, why did they not question the religion that was quite happy to let her die for it.. i think the problem for me is that when i was at home, we never really talked, any problems were just glossed over , in fact i don't think i have ever had an indepth jw talk with my parents about how i felt about being a witness which makes it so hard to tell them what i've learnt now, i haven't a clue where to start.. for my husband it seemed quite easy for him to have discussions with his mum and step dad as he never had the same closeness that i had with my parents when growing up even though we were raised in witness families, but then it dawned on me that we never really spoke indepth about anything much so how do i start now?.
so i'm asking for any advice anyone can give, if you have any suggestions i would love to hear from you..
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free and happy
Thank you all, to Ding, I will go slowly, it is tempting to blurt it all out in one go but sowing a little seed may work better.
00DAD, I didn't think we were disfunctional as a family but your probably right,we were the typical smiley faced witnesses at the meeting, never really talking about anything and pretending we were all happyat home and with other jws.
I'm very grateful that my parents still speak to us, but my brother is out and my sister to is out so to shun us would mean them shunning all of us and the grandchildren, I know they wouldn't be able to do that.
My mum may be the key, she is definitely a fluff witness, goes more for the social reasons than the spiritual, if people speak to her or include her in things then shes happy to be there but if she goes on a downer then she says she can't be bothered with it and doesn't go for weeks! My dad just plods on regardless and if you say anything you can see his mind just cloud over, like hte witness shutters come down. Even when our daughter had a transfusion and we nearly lost her , they just glossed over it like it wasn't really happening in there family. We tried to talk to them about it and they listened but even something that major , didn't make them ask questions.
I am going to try again, thanks for everyones support and wise words.
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How many of you followed the WTS direction on education years ago and have been screwed by it?
by Julia Orwell ini'm really interested in this question because i've heard for years that if you forgo further education and go pioneering, when you have a family down the track you will get a good job because jehovah will provide for you because you pioneered.
as long as i was a kool-aid drinker, even then, i thought, "how does pioneering pay your bills?
surely education should come first.
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free and happy
Me too.
I wanted to go into further education but my parents discouraged me as it ment moving away from home and they said I would get so involved in a career that I would stop going to meetings.
They encouraged me to get a part time job and pioneer and then when you meet a nice brother, settle down and be a good wife and mother, which is what I did. I have always worked but never had a career until we left 5 years ago and I went back to school and am now in the Health Profession.
We had a different view for our children even before we left the jws and we actively encouraged them to be who they want to be hence eldest is at uni doing a nursing degree and middle one is doing gcses soon and then off to college, as for the youngest who is only 7, she wants to be a fairy, may need help finding a college for that!
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Parents - How can I tell them what I have learnt and hope they leave too.
by free and happy inmy husband and i and our children having been left the jws for 5 years now, for me it was how we were treated, the lies elders told about us and the blood issue that really opened my eyes and while all this was happening, my parents watched, supported and even sympathised with us,they said they understood our decision and even though it sadden them we were leaving, they understood.
they have never shunned us and we have a really good relationship with them.. what i don't understand is how they can still stay and play happy families with the people who caused us so much pain and anxiety, without the transfusion my eldest had, she would be dead, it truely was a life saver, why did they not question the religion that was quite happy to let her die for it.. i think the problem for me is that when i was at home, we never really talked, any problems were just glossed over , in fact i don't think i have ever had an indepth jw talk with my parents about how i felt about being a witness which makes it so hard to tell them what i've learnt now, i haven't a clue where to start.. for my husband it seemed quite easy for him to have discussions with his mum and step dad as he never had the same closeness that i had with my parents when growing up even though we were raised in witness families, but then it dawned on me that we never really spoke indepth about anything much so how do i start now?.
so i'm asking for any advice anyone can give, if you have any suggestions i would love to hear from you..
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free and happy
Thank you everyone for the kind advice, sorry i've not replied earlier, had a problem with my computor, i'll let you know what happens when I tackle them.
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Why Did You Get Baptised
by God_Delusion inhi guys,.
so then, why did you get dunked?
were you pressured into it too, or did you do it because you honestly thought it was the right thing to do?.
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free and happy
I was dunked when I was 16 at Hartlepool because I thought it was the right thing to do and all my friends at the time were getting baptised at the same time.
My nan who has never been a jw begged me not to and to take a year out of the religion to see the world which led to her falling out with my mum for a few months but when your born in and told everyday the world is an evil place, I told her I was happy and it was what I wanted and I probably was happy as I didn't know any different, I met my lovely husband (GONE AWOL) and I have a lovely family which are even happier now that we are out.
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Parents - How can I tell them what I have learnt and hope they leave too.
by free and happy inmy husband and i and our children having been left the jws for 5 years now, for me it was how we were treated, the lies elders told about us and the blood issue that really opened my eyes and while all this was happening, my parents watched, supported and even sympathised with us,they said they understood our decision and even though it sadden them we were leaving, they understood.
they have never shunned us and we have a really good relationship with them.. what i don't understand is how they can still stay and play happy families with the people who caused us so much pain and anxiety, without the transfusion my eldest had, she would be dead, it truely was a life saver, why did they not question the religion that was quite happy to let her die for it.. i think the problem for me is that when i was at home, we never really talked, any problems were just glossed over , in fact i don't think i have ever had an indepth jw talk with my parents about how i felt about being a witness which makes it so hard to tell them what i've learnt now, i haven't a clue where to start.. for my husband it seemed quite easy for him to have discussions with his mum and step dad as he never had the same closeness that i had with my parents when growing up even though we were raised in witness families, but then it dawned on me that we never really spoke indepth about anything much so how do i start now?.
so i'm asking for any advice anyone can give, if you have any suggestions i would love to hear from you..
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free and happy
My husband and I and our children having been left the JWs for 5 years now, for me it was how we were treated, the lies elders told about us and the blood issue that really opened my eyes and while all this was happening, my parents watched, supported and even sympathised with us,they said they understood our decision and even though it sadden them we were leaving, they understood. They have never shunned us and we have a really good relationship with them.
What I don't understand is how they can still stay and play happy families with the people who caused us so much pain and anxiety, without the transfusion my eldest had, she would be dead, it truely was a life saver, why did they not question the religion that was quite happy to let her die for it.
I think the problem for me is that when I was at home, we never really talked, any problems were just glossed over , in fact I don't think I have ever had an indepth jw talk with my parents about how I felt about being a witness which makes it so hard to tell them what i've learnt now, I haven't a clue where to start.
For my husband it seemed quite easy for him to have discussions with his mum and step dad as he never had the same closeness that I had with my parents when growing up even though we were raised in witness families, but then it dawned on me that we never really spoke indepth about anything much so how do I start now?
So I'm asking for any advice anyone can give, if you have any suggestions I would love to hear from you.
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Lost best friend...
by lostinnj83 inso i am not even out yet and i feel as though i have already lost my best friend.. i asked her if i could use her as a reference on an apartment rental if i decide to go the route of separation from my husband.
she knows all of what i went through in my marriage and how much pain and suffering that i have endured.. at first she said yes, no problem, then she asked if i would be speaking to the elders about it, and i said no, she asked why not, i said that is my choice to do or not do.. her response was that i pray and speak to the elders and that she thinks it best that i don't use her as a reference because she would feel that she was supporting my decision to separate.
i said fine but i also said that her response seems to be more of a concern about me speaking to the elders rather than being concerned for my well being.
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free and happy
Apognophos - I'm glad i'm not the only one who was taught it wasn't right to have worldly friends , when we left I realised I was 43 and every friend I thought I had was a jw, even the ones who said it didn't matter to them that our family didn't want to be jws anymore soon disappeared when they couldn't change our minds, one even told my husband he was the spawn of the devil for leaving!
I have found it really difficult to make friends as I wasn't sure how to but slowly as my cult mind unthawed and I saw people around me were ok, I have learnt to let people into my life and now I have some nice friends who like me for me.
Its not to late to start again and i'm sure you'll get all the support you need and more!
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How Long has it Been since you Last Attended Meetings and What Caused...
by flipper in..... you to stop attending ?
injustices ?
disagree with the teachings ?
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free and happy
I haven't been to the hall for nearly 5 years and I can say I honestly don't miss it - I feel happier than I've ever felt before and so is my family.
To Dogpatch - Bet your soo much happier now than in a suit, i put my husbands suits in a charity bag! It felt good!
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Hello??
by franticfran ini have just joined this website and just wanted to say hello to anyone out there.
i am so nervous,after thirty odd years in the "truth" i feel as though my husband and i have just walked into a room full of smiling strangers and we are just standing here hoping to god someone will come up and speak to us.
scared and excited and hoping to wake up one morning and not wonder what we do now???
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free and happy
Hello Fran
My husband and I have just joinned too, it must be a week for newbies!
We have had such wonderful support here, I know it can be daunting to start again but you are never to old and there are people out in the world( which isn't such a bad place) who will be your friend with out judging you or make you feel bad for having an opinion.
You don't have to have a big reason for leaving, just waking up is big enough to all their lies and man made rules.
If you want to know why we left, look at the thred Hubby and wife say hi and believe me you'll be so much happier, our family is.
Take care